Ok. I think I have fixed most of my problems.
1. I needed to set up S2memberpro with URI restrictions so the backend of buddypress would stop being stupid and showing profiles and stuff. (fixed)
2. I needed to stop being stupid and go into appearance>>layout>> and choose one column no side bar there and save. That nifty little setting makes what ever you choose as your layout your default setting. (DUH)
My issues are resolved. (for the moment) 🙂
Sylvia